No one can claim that he didn’t have to deal with difficult people. We all have, both in our profession and personal life. While doing so our emotions run wild, making us tense, angry and awful. People with difficult personality do not follow any logic or rationality and therefore are very hard to interact with. They are selfish, rude, opportunistic and constantly promoting none but themselves. They have no concerns about others’ interests. Organizationally they are able to sustain, as being street smart they are expert in the art of pleasing superiors, and therefore we (as colleagues or subordinates) are forced to work with them. Hence, finding ways to deal with such people is absolutely necessary and that too without compromising our mental peace and professional goals. But how? and what do we do to prevent ourselves getting marginalized in the process?
Dealing with difficult people is a test of our strength and resilience. Both can be increased if we enhance our “professional immunity”. This is analogous to our bodies fighting diseases by increasing immunity. But, how do we increase “professional immunity”? It can be enhanced by improving one’s reputation as a “valuable worker” — which in nothing but improving one’s expertise, credibility and relationships (both internal and external). “Professional immunity” acts as a shield against negative politics and badmouthing — tactics difficult people tend to follow with an intent to dismantle us.
Having created “professional immunity” one needs to work towards sustaining it. This is extremely important as difficult people are constantly looking for opportunities to weaken us professionally and politically. Hence, one cannot afford to commit any mistakes which creates such opportunities. But, what are these opportunities? Let’s discuss.
a) Reacting negatively to provocation:
While dealing with difficult people, one might get provoked resulting in negative behavior. Negative behavior, in general, is disliked by all, and hence should be consciously avoided. One negative behavior can undo all past good work of the individual and therefore enough to dismantle us politically. Examples of negative behavior are — written/oral abuses, email fights etc.
b) Poor communication skills:
Good communication skill is extremely useful in dealing with difficult people. Why? Difficult people are opportunistic and have poor execution skills. They tend to thrive by playing the blame game and passing responsibility on others. Hence, one needs to be very sharp while communicating with difficult people. All communication should be preferably over emails, and short with a clear focus on execution. Action items should be clearly called out, and impacts of not executing should be quantified.
c) Not working to improve relationships:
Our relationships are our protection against attacks. It provides us with necessary political capital to deal with difficult situations. Hence, one has to consciously try to develop good relationships with all. Great relationships thrive by being honest and truthful with people. Please read my earlier note — “Why do some have better relationships than others?”
d) Not promoting one’s contributions:
Difficult people are out there to marginalize us politically and take all credit. This isolates us from the team and thereby decreases our opportunities for making contributions. Hence, one has to make a conscious effort to let others know about his/her work. Self-promotion should be done carefully so that it does not look odd. The idea is not to take a lion’s share of the remuneration/credit, but to ensure one does not get eclipsed in the team and lose all future opportunities of contributions.
e) Playing politics with others:
Negative politics destroys relationships and makes one vulnerable to attack from difficult people. Hence, one must be perceived as fair as possible towards others. Taking care of other’s interest will strengthen relationships and will act as an insurance policy when attacked by difficult people.
f) Playing vindictive:
One should consciously try not to be vindictive with people. Why? as vindictive behavior weaken us politically in front of others. It clutters our focus from solving real issues. This is totally unproductive and dilutes the possibilities of future collaboration with folks that we are trying to fix. The idea should not be to fix people but to encourage all to behave positively so that we can all win as a team.
The real difficulty is not about the need to deal with difficult people, but to manage our own behavior in the face of provocation and negative tactics. Most of the problem is solved if we stay focused on increasing our contributions towards the larger objective (business goals), without getting digressed by distractions. As long as we stay focused and work towards enhancing “professional immunity” we will be successful in greatly reducing the difficulty of dealing with difficult people.
