We communicate with an intent to collaborate with each other. This is key to our success, as it helps us in driving a better business outcome. It lays the foundation of all relationships. But why some are better at it than others? This is not just about the mastery of language skills (though it helps), but something more fundamental. In this note, I plan to describe the golden rules that can significantly enhance our ability to communicate with others.
Focus on Enhancing Trust
One can communicate really well when there is a trust between the interacting entities. Trust dissolves the “mental barrier” which prevents us from listening to others with an open mind. Hence, inculcating trust is very important for ensuring seamless dialogue between communicating entities. But how do we develop trust? We can do so by increasing our “personal credibility”, which can be improved in two ways; a) by being consistent with all our past words and actions, b) by laying out the agenda (business interests) transparently before the person with whom we are seeking to communicate. Enhancing “personal credibility” takes a lot of time, as to achieve it, one has to go through a painful process of “staying on course” in the face of extreme enticement. To lose trust only takes a sliver. Once that happens, the confidence breaks down, and it significantly dilutes one’s ability to convince others. Therefore if one wants to communicate well, he should spend maximum effort in building trust with everyone with whom he is planning to interact.
State the Purpose Upfront
Stating the purpose up-front can significantly improve the efficiency of communication between entities. While stating the purpose one should be very clear about the listener’s role in the process and what he expects from him. As once that is set, the listener can better appreciate the conversation. By not stating the purpose up-front, one risks losing the attention of the listener, as he might not be able to maintain the much-needed focus due to his natural urge to keep guessing (at the back of his mind) the real purpose of the dialogue — leading to a lot of wastage and decrease in productivity.
Prevent Digressing from Theme
Focusing on the central theme is crucial if one wants to preserve the purpose of the dialogue. Most people tend to digress into other topics and subjects that do not link directly to the objective that they want to accomplish. This results in wastage of time leading to loss of efficiency. This is the other reason why stating the purpose up-front is so important, as both the entities can then play active roles in anchoring the discussion to the central theme and bring it back on course in case one of them inadvertently strays out.
Keep it simple
Sometimes we try to discuss too many things simultaneously as part of the same conversation. This is very risky, as it results in dilution of the key objective that we plan to accomplish. Hence, to achieve maximum efficiency, all interactions should be broken up into modules, preferably spaced out in time. This will ensure that the points discussed are retained for actions, and do not fall between the cracks, while one transition from one topic to the other in sequence.
Prevent Cross Talks
Most communication fails as there are too many cross talks between participating entities. The reason for these cross-talks is the urge to say it all in one go. This destroys the dialogue and is the biggest reason for the failure of most interactions, as the listener is unable to retain most of what was said earlier, and therefore fails to contribute effectively. This also leads to a lot of repetition and wastage of time. Hence, structuring the topic of discussion in the beginning itself is very important. Also, during the process, one needs to pause consciously at frequent intervals, to give enough opportunities for others to respond and contribute.
Try to Listen
Listening is not just about focusing and understanding the words being uttered, but also about carefully observing the body language and tone of the speaker. Failure to do so can have catastrophic consequences — resulting in a total failure of the process. Hence, one should try to remove all biases by looking at the conversation from different angles (being in other person’s shoes). Though it is easier said than done, as I have seen the best faltering frequently on this aspect. Therefore a lot of practice is required to stay on course. Also, it is important to respect the views of the interacting participants so that one is naturally inclined to listen to them. Respect can only come if one is conscious of the fact that “subject matter expertise” usually undermines the mind’s ability to drive “out of the box” solutions. Hence, sometimes best solutions of problems come from the non-experts who have very little knowledge about the topic. This has been wonderfully described by James Surowiecki in his book titled “The Wisdom of Crowds”.
Summaries the Key Take Aways
This is a very important as it gives an opportunity to the communicating entities to check if the messages have been grasped and understood accurately. This act as a feedback loop which prevents us from risking “misunderstanding” and carrying “wrong actions items” for execution.
These 7 rules (principles) are powerful tools that we all can use to enhance our communication skills. Those already practicing these are better communicators than others. Hence, spending time in learning these skills can greatly help in improving our interactions between entries — resulting in efficient meetings and enhanced productivity.
